He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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