i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
