5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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