you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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