It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
