You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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