you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
