I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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