the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
