To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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