yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
