So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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