how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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