i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Randomize
