i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
