physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
