So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
