dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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