Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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