Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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