Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
You ruined the universe
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
