Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
