I like my sex mixed with concussions.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
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