1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
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