I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
