Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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