How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
