I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
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