I feel like I'm in dance class right now
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
