There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
