Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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