Will you blow on my dice?
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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