dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
