its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
