just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
