I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
