ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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