She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
