I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
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