There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
my poor anus
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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