Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Randomize
