I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
