yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
