is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
