I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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