"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
