You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
