Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
