we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
