so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
